Writing a New Story

Shan of The Kind Mind Club was generous enough o share with me her story of mental health growth and it served to me as an amazing inspiration... it's a story of strength and hope much needing during this time of confusion and fear due to the ever-growing COV-19 pandemic. Please do not hesitate to read more from her at thekindmindclub.com

Writing a New Story:

A few years ago, I was lost. I was hurting. I was struggling with my mental health and was

diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I was desperately trying to get

better, to feel better. But no matter what I did, it just didn’t work. I was fighting this battle

within my mind every single day. There was an invisible shadow hovering around me, a

relentless storm dowsing me in cold rain. I felt like I was stuck in someone else’s body, unable

to be the strong and empowered girl I knew I could be. But I didn’t give up hope. I couldn’t. I

knew there had to be a way out of this storm. I tried all that I could. I avoided caffeine. I

exercised. I wrote in my journal. I saw a therapist. I tried various supplements. I went to a

chiropractor. I did yoga and meditation. I talked to friends and family. I took deep breaths. I said

positive affirmations. I still felt anxious. I still felt depressed. That’s not to say all these things

didn’t help. They definitely helped me. They kept my anxiety and depression at a somewhat

manageable place. They just didn’t erase my mental illness. They didn’t make me feel like the

person I wanted to be. The person I knew I could be.

I had a story written in my head that I was weak, that I was too fearful, that I was always

overthinking and over-worrying. I was being overtaken by the shadows within my head,

forfeiting my strength to the darkness. Like the bad guy in a book, my anxiety tried to render

me hopeless. But then one day it hit me. This bad guy was a part of my brain, a part of the

thoughts and ideas that had cultivated in my mind since I was little. How could the bad guy win

if me and the bad guy were one? So I decided to rewrite my story. To tell things differently. To

see things differently. It wasn’t easy, but I took it day by day, page by page. I had moments

when the rain would settle and the sun would peak through the gray clouds. These moments

proved to me that somewhere inside me I held a power- a power that could defeat this storm.

One day after the storm hit particularly hard, I came to the realization that I couldn’t change my

story if I stayed in the same setting. So I packed up my stuff and moved home. I added new

characters to my story that would help me find my strength. I let go of characters that dwindled

my powers and made me feel like I wasn’t worthy. I continued with the meditation, the

journaling, the positive affirmations. I continued to talk to others. And I decided to create a

platform where others could find their power within too. The storm still finds its way to me on

occasion. But now it’s not so scary. The rain is little more gentle. The clouds are a little less gray.

And the sun, it always comes back.

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