
At First, It Was Unintentional
Over the years I have struggled with anxiety and depression, an eating disorder, maladaptive daydreaming, and self harm. For a long time I thought I’d never be “normal” or happy. I thought that I was incapable of having healthy relationships and/or a successful, satisfying life. But through hard work, vicious ups and down, persistent hope, lots of support, and plain-and-simple stubbornness I have healed many of my old wounds and learned to live to the best of my ability with

When There Are Nine
As much as I try to avoid making political posts, the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg is something I must comment on. RBG was my one and only political role model. She’s a meaningful icon. An inspiration. And her death is poignant to say the least. Most the time I find politicians to have a lot of bad qualities, act and speak with dishonesty, and would make for terrible role models. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, however, who has had political power and influence in one form or another

The Winter Ahead
Is living in fear of COVID the new normal? Are we ever going to return to a less anxious state of mind? Is fall/winter going to bring a decrease in cases or an increase? Will the city shut down again into quarantine since we haven’t gotten the numbers under control? These are the worries I have. Constantly. Especially now with the shifting weather ushering in rainy, gray days. I have struggled with seasonal depression for as long as I can remember. The disappearance of the su

New Mourning
It’s strange how change - even good change - can sometimes make the heart heavy. I’m saying good bye to an apartment and with it, the plan of how my life was supposed to unfold in the next year. And I’m so very sad about it. So frustrated with the state of the world right now. But at the same time, my new apartment is very cute and the life I’ve built in Chicago - the people I know and love - make my life here a truly beautiful thing. I should be happy to have more time here,

The Smallest of Actions
I washed by hair yesterday. Now, some of you who just read that sentence have your brow furrowed in confusion, thinking “So what?” But I’m betting others of you understand the significance of the statement. Some of you just had your heart surge and your eyebrows raise—wishing you felt good enough to do the same. I washed my hair. I washed my hair not because it was gross, or had been far too long since its last washing... I washed it simply because I wanted to. I even did a s

Wanderlust at Home
What makes you fall in love with a city? With a house? With a neighborhood? What’s the difference - key differences - between simply living somewhere and actually feeling like you belong there? I’ve moved A LOT in my life. Multiple cities/states and many, many apartments... so maybe that’s why my sense of ‘home’ is a rather elusive thing. Chicagco does actually feel very much like home to me: the vibe of the people is great, I love the lake, there’s always something to do, th

Changing Times
Well, happy August. The year is now officially more than half over. But, boy oh boy, does it feel like 2020 has been going on for so much longer than just these last months. We’ve faced disease threats, including an ongoing pandemic that put us into quarantine. Animal threats of murder hornets, blue dragons, squirrels with bubonic plague, and swarming monkeys and locust. Political threats both foreign and domestic. And now we’re coming into a new age of social justice because

The USA
It’s the Fourth of July, and with the state of the USA right now (Covid-19 quarantine, Black Lives Matter Protests, political unrest, accusations of violence and racism) you might be feeling somewhat guilty for wanting to celebrate this weekend. You might have conflicted feelings about uplifting the country’s successes. I understand. The best analogy I can think of though is that the USA is like a rescue dog: It’s excited and scared, constantly on edge but super loving. It ch