At First, It Was Unintentional
Over the years I have struggled with anxiety and depression, an eating disorder, maladaptive daydreaming, and self harm. For a long time I thought I’d never be “normal” or happy. I thought that I was incapable of having healthy relationships and/or a successful, satisfying life. But through hard work, vicious ups and down, persistent hope, lots of support, and plain-and-simple stubbornness I have healed many of my old wounds and learned to live to the best of my ability with the details about myself, my personality, my mind, that cannot be changed.
At first, when I was writing my books, the less-than-ideal personality traits I gave to my characters were unintentional. I wrote in their mental and emotional issues subconsciously. I projected onto these fantastical, powerful, mysterious, epic (made-up) people a lot of the issues I have dealt with. I accidentally made them highly relatable. Realistic even though they were imaginary. Flawed even though they were the rulers and warriors of an extravagant world. It took a long time for me to realize what I’d done... but once my eyes had been opened to it, I didn’t shy away from writing in more. I ran full speed ahead.
I put in traits of codependency, bipolar disorder, separation anxiety, PTSD, alcoholism, narcissism, explosive disorder, compulsive behavior, dissociative disorder, and more. Because I intended for anyone - everyone - reading my books to get lost in the grand, magical story, and yet still feel attached to the characters... to still feel a relatability to their troubles. I wanted readers to know that even the greatest and mightiest of people can have struggles, demons, set-backs, and short-comings.
You are capable of happiness. Capable of love. Capable of triumph. Even if you have much to overcome.
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