Wanderlust at Home
What makes you fall in love with a city? With a house? With a neighborhood? What’s the difference - key differences - between simply living somewhere and actually feeling like you belong there?
I’ve moved A LOT in my life. Multiple cities/states and many, many apartments... so maybe that’s why my sense of ‘home’ is a rather elusive thing. Chicagco does actually feel very much like home to me: the vibe of the people is great, I love the lake, there’s always something to do, the seasons are beautiful... but I’m still feeling like maybe it’s time to head elsewhere. And, even with the city itself feeling home-like, I have zero attachment to Illinois and zero attachment to any particular residence. I mean, I’m apartment searching right now, and I’m a little sad about leaving this cute, sunny spot I’ve been in the last few years. But between the constant construction going on in my building and the affects of COVID-19 on the area, I’m really ok with moving someplace else. Maybe I’ll stay in Chicago another few months - a year or two more even - but after that...? I really can see myself headed elsewhere.
Why though? Why am I totally ok with the idea of leaving someplace that I’ve called ‘home’ for nearing a decade now? Or why doesn’t my childhood area feel like home? Why am I willing to uproot myself and take a stab at making an unknown location my new home? I don’t have answers, just wonderings.
I know that home to me is mostly just where I can safely and quietly be left to my thoughts and my writing, soak up some sun, tend to my plants, and rest my head at night... and that I could do that pretty much in any house/apartment in the world. So really truly, I ask of you... why does one place, one location, one residence end up feeling more like home than another to us? And in contrast, what am I feeling (or missing in feeling) that I’m ready to pack up and move on?
Is it simply just wanderlust? Or have I just not found the right place yet?