Fear is easy. It is easy to let worry consume us. To let fear tear us down. To let hopelessness dissolve our energy. It is hard to be brave, to be optimistic, to be bold in both speech and action. So if today is a day that fear wins, that you curl up beneath your blankets, turn off the news and close the blinds, I understand. I understand that you cannot be strong every day. You can’t win every battle... and sometimes you simply don’t have the wherewithal to even start some b
It’s strange how change - even good change - can sometimes make the heart heavy. I’m saying good bye to an apartment and with it, the plan of how my life was supposed to unfold in the next year. And I’m so very sad about it. So frustrated with the state of the world right now. But at the same time, my new apartment is very cute and the life I’ve built in Chicago - the people I know and love - make my life here a truly beautiful thing. I should be happy to have more time here,
I find it hard to allow myself to be happy. When that deep-in- your-chest peaceful happiness takes a hold of me, I enjoy it for only a short while before fear sets in and ruins it. Fear that my happiness will be false, short-lived, or end up hurting me in the long run. Guilt hits me, of ‘how dare I be happy when others are hurting’. I sink into the assumption that if I am happy, riding high on life, at peace, etc etc, that that only means that eventually I will crash. That I
I've been very sick the last week. It snowed. My building's water pressure was messed up. I've had work and deadlines to deal with. There was rent to pay and laundry to do, appointments to make, and people to talk to. Aka... a rough week. But I felt like I was in the eye of the storm.
Although I had a lot to do and was too sick to really want to do anything other than sleep, at the base of it all I realized that I am more at peace with myself - who I am, what I need, and wh
It’s two weeks until Halloween and I just saw my first Christmas advertisement. I’ll be honest, it made me a little sick to my stomach. I’m just barely beginning to adjust to summer being over, and now the commercial world wants me to be thinking of winter, red and green lights, the smell of pine trees, and gifts with big bows. No thanks. Not yet. Nope. As I’ve said in previous posts, I’m on a mission to enjoy my life. Appreciate being alive. And ultimately take care of mysel