Is living in fear of COVID the new normal? Are we ever going to return to a less anxious state of mind? Is fall/winter going to bring a decrease in cases or an increase? Will the city shut down again into quarantine since we haven’t gotten the numbers under control? These are the worries I have. Constantly. Especially now with the shifting weather ushering in rainy, gray days. I have struggled with seasonal depression for as long as I can remember. The disappearance of the su

Yesterday was Juneteenth, a holiday that I only knew a little bit about... much like a lot of other US history having to do with the maltreatment of African Americans. School did not teach me much about the plight, the abuse, the torture and trauma and evil inflicted on the black population by this country. And not just in the past, but also in the day to day currently. I was pretty ignorant. Although my ignorance is largely not my fault - it’s a result of the systematically

I’m very good at pretending to be happy. I’ve spent my life masking pain, pretending disfunction doesn’t exist, covering up the wounds of trauma, and ultimately faking a persona of light and confidence. It’s a coping mechanism. It means I can hold a public job despite the fact that I have social anxiety. It means I shower, pay my bills, and show up to work on time even though I’ve struggled deeply with depression. It means I’ve done physical jobs while being in excruciating p

So apparently I have five wisdom teeth. Or, really, more accurately: I have four and half. The fifth "extra" tooth is only the size of a baby tooth. It's been months now, of endless dentist appointments, mostly caused by one little error a dentist made over a year ago, but that's a whole other story. Mostly, I've been frequenting the dentist because I'm at that age where, if I'm going to get my wisdom teeth taken out, I need to do it. Now. So, this last Tuesday I had surger

Today's post is less a blog post and more a PSA. It has recently come to my attention that the general public doesn't understand a few basic things about my type of pain. Nerve pain. Unexplained pain. Chronic pain. Which more than 3 million people a year - in the US alone - have to deal with. So... 1. Pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs sometimes help. Somewhat. But in general, suggesting that if I "take a hot shower and couple ibuprofen, I'll feel better" is like tellin

I'm still on my motivate and encourage kick-- still wanting people to truly LIVE their lives! It's a message I firmly believe in, and think most people need to hear over and over again before they act upon it. So with that being said: At last the sun is shining. Birds are chirping. Flowers are blooming. And allergies are in full swing... This time of year really serves as a good reminder to me that life isn’t ever all-good or all-bad. Spring, this golden time of year, with